Monthly Archive: July 2017

July 15, 2017 – God and Counter Tops

Did you know God can talk to you through your counter tops? Ok yeah, that sounds a little crazy, but let me explain…

While Kayleigh was sick we had a little incident with our double oven. As in, I did something, messed up some wires, and proceeded to attempt to catch the house on fire – oops! Needless to say, we were without an oven for a while. However, at the place we were in, it didn’t really matter. Kayleigh was home and very sick, and we had wonderful people caring for us and bringing food. Move forward to January (about 5 months without an oven) and we go shopping.

Holy cow – double ovens are ridiculously expensive! And considering the fact that I had not really missed my oven for 6 months it was hard to justify spending that amount of money, so we decided to buy a single oven/range combo and my incredibly talented husband was going to modify the cabinets. Good plan! We bought the new oven and had it delivered – to our garage – where it lived until mid June when Tim finally had time to get it installed (yes, that is about 6 more months). So, for the last month we have had a lovely new working oven, as well as the double oven, hanging out in our itty bitty 1970’s ranch kitchen.

Now that Softball is over for Grace and Volleyball tournaments don’t get going until September, we have a little time on our hands for improvements. As Tim and I sat discussing our plans for these upcoming weekends he decides it’s time to go ahead and get the old oven out – as in, right now. So, he removes the old oven, tears out the old cabinet, and visits Lowe’s for new cabinets which he has set by Saturday night. I told you he was incredibly gifted! Only one small problem… countertops. Yeah, I’d kind of like to have counter tops in my kitchen. – preferably counter tops that all match. Once he had everything set and was cleaning up I looked at him and said, “you do realize that I now get to go pick out my new countertops and back splash, right?” The look on his face was perfect. I could tell he knew that was necessary, but maybe he hadn’t quite thought through exactly what that was going to mean to his wallet. A replacement double oven might have been a better idea but too late now – ha!

So Monday, I began the search for counter tops. On a side note here, I thought this was going to be an easy process, I knew what I wanted – um no. I visited multiple vendors, went through the warehouse looking at slabs, got quotes from three different places, and finally decided to go back and look at the slabs against the cabinet colors to make my decision. And that my friends, is when God showed up in my counter tops.

As I was driving to Madison yesterday with my little cabinet door, I was having some quiet conversation with the Lord. I was missing my baby. Sometimes the heartache just slips in. It’s hard to believe that just a year ago she was my imperfectly perfect, bright, spunky Baby Duck – and today she has been gone 8 months. I know she has made an incredible impact on the world, but oh what a high price it was to pay for that impact.

Once I arrive at the place to look at slabs, the sweet sales girl that is walking me around in the blistering heat says, “I couldn’t help but notice the bottom of your email said Prayers for Kayleigh…” all I could feel in that moment was – be still my battered heart. God knew I needed a reminder that Kayleigh had reached far and wide. But as so often God does, the story gets better. This sweet gal has a cancer survivor or her own. A little boy the age of my Cole. Doctors gave him 2 weeks to live when he was diagnosed, and that was over 4 years ago. And when I asked where her boy received treatment, she said, “St. Jude.” Wow. I just stopped where I was and wrapped her up in a big hug, chill bumps on my arms, and tears in my eyes.

She had no idea that she was ministering to my heart. But God knew I was hurting and found a way to reach me through the most mundane thing – counter tops. The next little while I spent with her was healing to my heart. There is comfort just being with someone that understands so completely. This Cancer Mom club is not one that any of us would choose to join. It’s hard, filed with constant fear that we will lose our most precious treasure, our child. Yet, we know we must remain strong for our little fighters because they depend on us to take care of them and fight for them. So we push our fears to the back of our minds, put on our big girl panties, and go to war for our children. No one can understand what this feels like, no one but another cancer mom. Which is why the minute you meet another cancer mom your hearts just click. No matter how different you are on the outside, there is an unspoken camaraderie, a heart connection.

How thankful I am for a God that cares about every detail of our lives. He sees our hurts and meets our needs – sometimes in the smallest things. And then the small things become big things, moments to treasure.

Matthew 6:31-33

31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

I love those verses, Jesus reminds us not to worry – God’s got this. Our job is to just seek after Him.

Until later,
‘Carrow💜

These pictures are from this time last year and a couple of Tim’s handiwork.

Now it’s time for paint, new cabinet fronts, and counter tops!

July 6, 2017 – Changes

Hello friends!

As many of you know, I resigned from my job mid-June in order to run the foundation, spend more time writing, and taking time to build this new ministry. Through our journey with Kayleigh, God has allowed us to experience His amazing goodness first-hand. By the world’s standards, our story should be one of grief, defeat and despair – but because of our great God, this story is one of faith, hope, peace, and joy. Joy that needs to be shared. So many people around us are struggling each day, we want to be a light of encouragement and hope.

But we are still going to need your support and prayers on this new journey! Especially since we are learning and growing as we go along. My first question for you all today is about the frequency of posting. I think every day may be too much, is once a week better, or twice a week? Would you please share your thoughts with me? You can email your thoughts to dearcarrow@gmail.com .

Thank you for continuing to stand with us. This is Kayleigh’s legacy, one of hope.

Love,
‘Carrow💜

 

July 4, 2017 – Happy 4th!

Memories can be such a bittersweet thing. I am so thankful for the precious reminders, but they twist my heart a little at the same time. Of course, how could they not? As we celebrate the 4th, I remember so many fun holidays. We always shoot big fireworks and enjoy ice cream, and today was no different on that front – but we were missing our spunky little girl.

The most beautiful gift the Lord gives us each day, is that the sweet continues to outweigh the bitter. Whenever I feel myself teetering on the edge of despair, I am reminded of our perfect 7.5 year with Kayleigh, of the amazing children I still have the joy to parent, of our close knit family, and friends that – well my friend Taylor said it best, we’re “fram-ily.”

Yes, my heart twinges tonight as I remember what is no longer with me, but our separation is but a blink in the eye of eternity. So tonight as you tuck your babies in, give them one more kiss, one more hug, one more minute before bed, and eat the ice cream first. Take lots of pictures and treasure every moment.

Psalm 90:12 – NIV
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Until later,
‘Carrow💜