Mercy what a day! I made it safely to the Women of Joy conference with my friends. What a joy it is to have special, Christian women that love and encourage one another. I know I needed time to step away from my insane schedule and just sit at the feet of Jesus.
I was prepared for renewal, I was not quite as prepared for being broken first. But I guess when you plant seeds you have to till the soil first, right? Tonight’s speaker did just that for me. As she shared her testimony and pain from losing a child, a daughter, my heart clenched. And when she asked that room of nearly 10,000 women to stand if they had lost a child… I stood. I stood with tears running down my face – filled with both joy and sorrow, grief and hope, pain and faith. I stood holding hands with my friend, bonded by the sorrow of loss.
Yes, the Lord squished up my heart tonight – and the squishing made it soft. I have no doubt He has more to say to me this weekend and I pray that I will be receptive to those words.
One thing the speaker said was if she could go back and change it, she would. As I sat and thought about that I think I fall on the other side of things, I wouldn’t. Would it be wonderful to trade this hurt in, and have my baby back? Yes, that would be wonderful. I miss her so much. But I know where she is, and even though my heart hurts I would never ask her to give up paradise in heaven to come back here. I know I’ll be joining her in heaven soon enough, but until that time comes my job is to keep sharing God’s amazing goodness.
It’s been a great day – but I’m still about this tired!