In the past 15 months, our family has found itself in an unexpected season. A season, that by most standards should be nothing but sorrow and grief – but because of God’s amazing goodness, this season has been one of beautiful blessings filled with more good than bad. I’ve never doubted God’s sovereignty or His plan through this journey – He is perfect. I often don’t understand, all I have is blind trust and faith in the unseen.
What I find beautiful now, is how God continues to open our eyes and allow us to see what He has been doing – giving us glimpses of the many layers of His plan. It is mind-boggling when you begin to see how intricately He has woven all the strands together. How each step compliments another, or how a certain decision – that may not have seemed particularly important – becomes the foundation of something much bigger. Only God can orchestrate something of this magnitude – and we are just one little family. The fact that he knows us all so intimately, and loves us each so extravagantly is awe inspiring.
While I have many things I am incredibly thankful for through this journey, the growth in my relationship with Tim is one I hold dear. Before Kayleigh’s diagnosis we were together, we loved each other, but we were not always on the same page. Now, while far from perfect, we are a team – two pieces of a whole. Statistically, that is amazing. So many couples that lose a child simply do not withstand the storm. I can certainly understand why – the magnitude of the grief is crushing, people grieve in different ways (and we often do not understand each other’s different grief methods), when we get lost in our own grief we miss how to care for our spouse, and so many more emotional landmines pop up daily.
I have found myself thanking God for this relationship growth, but not truly understanding how it came about – until yesterday. As I read “You and Me Forever” by Francis and Lisa Chan the answer leapt off the page… this blessing has nothing to do with Tim and I together, it has everything to do with our individual relationships with Christ. Wow.
Kayleigh’s diagnosis drove us to our knees. The journey was hard and the only way we could survive was by holding tight to the only One who had the answers. As we both traveled our individual journeys with the Lord, our marriage strengthened as a byproduct. What a wonderful gift from the storm, but what a high price to pay for the lesson. However, I have also discovered that the high price makes me treasure every piece more. Each blessing is a piece of Kayleigh’s legacy, and oh how I pray that we will be good stewards of His blessings.y prayer is that we will not hoard them for ourselves, but share them with others – pouring out our love and gratitude at our Savior’s feet.
So, I will write. I will continue to share with all of you what the Lord is teaching us along this journey – and hopefully, it will help you along your own journey, which in turn keeps Kayleigh’s legacy alive. Isn’t our God good?
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28
P. S. We have run away to paradise to recharge, celebrate 15 years of marriage, and just be together. It is lovely… but a storm is brewing (shocking right ?😉) – Hurricane Irma is a potential threat. Would you please pray for our safety? My hearts desire is that the storm will rerouted back into the ocean – leaving all countries alone, and allowing us to finish our trip, But, whatever it does, we need wisdom to make good decisions and for God to grant us traveling mercies to get us home safely.
Thank you friends, we love you 💜