June 28, 2016

Thank you Lord for another wonderful day in Memphis!

Today was radiation treatment #27 of 30 and Kayleigh is feeling great. We met with Kayleigh’s radiation oncologist who has been out of town for the past 3 weeks and he seemed surprised and quite pleased with how good and strong she looks. Tim and I have no idea what “normal” is for this but we get the feeling that Kayleigh is doing very well. At this point the only symptom we see is a slight droop in her right eye – all other symptoms are gone and she is even gaining strength and speed in her movements from when we began. We can do nothing but say thank you Lord for the way He has continued to bless us!

I talk often about how God cares for even the smallest of things – one of those things I have seen in this journey is Kayleigh’s hair. To me, Kayleigh’s hair is far less important than her life. I love her no matter what – if pursuing a treatment that makes her lose her hair saves her life – sign me up. But that is not how Kayleigh feels. The only real breakdown she has had through this entire ordeal was when she realized that she might lose her hair. When that realization struck she was inconsolable. We sat in the bathroom floor together and prayed that Jesus would please help her keep her hair. Every time she woke up during the night we would continue the same prayer. About 3 weeks in to treatment hair started coming out in her hairbrush, more and more each day. I’m not talking about a few strands, I’m talking about clumps every day. But guess what? You won’t be able to tell. How is that possible? I don’t know. It is even a regular topic of discussion with her doctors. Not only can you not tell but the radiation site is not irritated, inflamed, red or itchy. God has shown up for Kayleigh. He has answered her prayer in a clear and tangible way.

It’s things like this that continue to solidify my faith. Brick by brick the Lord has enforced and then reinforced my walls. People will comment that I seem so peaceful, that’s because I am. It isn’t a front that is hiding secret fears, I don’t have any secret fears. I know down to the deepest part of my heart and soul that God is in control. I know that His plan far exceeds anything I could wish or imagine. Knowing that, believing that, trusting that, I have no cause to fear. And in the absence of fear, there is peace.

Something I have not shared on this public stage is that I believe God is going to grant us our requests. My prayers for Kayleigh have been that God will heal her this side of heaven. That her life will not be complete at 7 but that she will have at least 70+7. That she will go to school, go to prom, go to college, get married, have babies, and always love God first. My prayer is that she will be a walking, talking, miracle and that we can give all the glory to God. Given this diagnosis those are some seriously audacious prayers on my part and I know it. I ask God regularly to reassure me that He is really going to grant Kayleigh a full life and every time He responds. Sometimes it’s a verse or message from one of you. Sometimes it is a song on the radio with words that are pointed directly at my heart. Sometimes it’s scripture. But every time He answers.

I have had this post on my heart now for days. It’s a big, scary step of faith to lay such raw belief out for all to see. The human brain is quick to say “what if you’re wrong” to which I have to remind myself, this isn’t about me. It’s not about ME being right, it’s about me being faithful to say what God has placed on my heart to say. Knowing that I was going to write this tonight I decided to have my devotion before writing just for a little extra fortification. My scripture was Jeremiah 1:4-10. I will post all of the verses below, but 7b really hit home “And all that I command you, you shall speak”. If that wasn’t a direct order I don’t know what is.

I believe God is going to heal Kayleigh. On this side of heaven. I believe she is going to have a full life. I believe years from now I am going to have the opportunity to stand on a stage and share my testimony of this journey and have the joy of introducing Kayleigh. If your prayers don’t scare you they aren’t big enough… This one scares me, but my oh my does it fill me with such hope and expectation as well. I’m excited to see what God has in store for us next!

So, tonight I am going to rest well because I know my God is in control. I know he is holding my baby in the palm of His hand, and that He has her best interest at heart. I also know that I have been obedient. I am really looking forward to seeing what God has in store for us. It is going to be awesome!

Please continue to pray with us
1.) Complete healing this side of Heaven.
2.) Finish radiation with no bad side effects.
3.) Be able to lower the steroid dose more this week.
4.) For our friends Anna & Sawyer (and their families) both of which are battling their own, different brain tumors.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow 💜

Jeremiah 1:4-10
4 The Lord gave me this message: 5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” 6 “O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” 7 The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. 8 And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!” 9 Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth! 10 Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms. Some you must uproot and tear down, destroy and overthrow. Others you must build up and plant.”

Kayleigh’s miracle hair. Thank you Jesus for answering her prayers!image

Opening treasures – Thank you Aunt Kay!image

Dinner image

Our precious new friendsimage

Love these girls!image

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