October 29, 2016

Hello Friends,

Today has been a quiet, beautiful day. I am writing you from Kayleigh’s side. God has not called her home yet and we are continuing to treasure the moments. The Lord woke us this morning to the most beautiful gift. Kayleigh – alert! Her eyes were clear. Her speech was strong. We were able to understand her easily. It was glorious. Our perfect little window of clarity lasted for 15 gorgeous minutes. As far as gifts go, that was perfect. After those few minutes she began slipping again.

It was a quick slide this morning, back to where she was yesterday. She is still with us but is often hazy. She’s groggy and tired but she fights sleep tooth and nail. It’s almost like she knows it’s possible she will go to sleep and not wake up. Last night as she was drifting off to sleep she told me “I’m not ready to go…” I don’t know if that was her complete thought or if she was telling me something else. But the Lord is graciously taking care of Kayleigh. She didn’t go anywhere last night, she’s still here.

The other thing she has been continuing to say quite clearly for the last few weeks is “when can I get my ears pierced?” Ha! Even in death she is my spunky little girl. I kept thinking she would forget, that the disease would erase that from her mind… um, no. She hasn’t forgotten that and has asked every day for the last two weeks. This week I had a precious friend ask if there was anything Kayleigh wanted – and she meant anything. Disney World in the front yard was one of the options. So I thought on that for a few days and as Kayleigh continued to asked consistently I finally told her of Kayleigh’s wish yesterday. Today the fairy and friend showed up, and Princess Kayleigh has her sparkly earrings. I can now say we have officially granted Kayleigh’s every earthly request. Thank you Lord for answering every need.

Things like that seems so small, but to me it is God tying the final ribbons on this beautiful, elaborate, priceless gift. You see, God is making sure that I have no regrets. That I can’t look back at any point and say “I wish I had…” All these little things are the final touches – perfecting my memories of Kayleigh here with me. Oh how I don’t want her to go, but oh how thankful I am that I serve a God that cares for me. That knows how badly I am hurting and is meeting me where I am. Answering needs I didn’t know I had.

Tonight as she valiantly fought sleep she said two clear things, “please don’t leave me,” which was an easy promise to make, I will not leave this precious baby. She is my treasure, my heart, my children are God’s most precious gift to me – no, I won’t be leaving Kayleigh. And “can I stay with you forever?” Oh my yes. Precious girl, you can stay with me forever. How can I explain to her that she will never leave me? Even if she leaves this earth she will be with me forever. She is a part of me. So I just said yes. Yes, sweet baby, you can stay with me forever.

I know God is preparing Kayleigh’s heart to go home to be with Him. I know he is preparing ours too. My prayer continues to be for peace, comfort, and no fear for All of us. I’m praying that Jesus will make himself known to Kayleigh so that she is happy to see him. I’m praying for Grace and Cole as they experience this transition, that they will see God’s beautiful love, mercy and grace on display. How our family handles this is going to be a large part of their spiritual foundation which will be what they build their lives and walks with Christ on. Our prayer is that we are helping them build sound foundations. Kayleigh will have all the joys of heaven – Grace and Cole will have to mourn and continue to live in a fallen world. Please Lord, help us point our children to you.

As always, we appreciate all of your love prayers and support. Thank you for your messages, calls and support. They are coming in so fast that we are not able to respond to them all just yet. Yet I know when I do open those messages they will be at the right moment when I need them most. So please, don’t be offended if we can’t respond right away. Just know that we value your love and support very much.

Thank you al for helping us carry this burden
Galatians 6:2
2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

Here is our hope…
Psalm 121
1 I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? 2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! 3 He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. 4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. 5 The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. 6 The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. 7 The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. 8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.

Until tomorrow,

Precious family timeimage

Cousin therapyimage

Cousin therapy part 2image

Getting her eats piercedimage

Why yes, they do sparkle!image

Kisses from sissyimage

The three amigos, all in Kayleigh’s bedimage

Brither love (and guard dog Max)image

Comments (5)

  1. Pam

    My name is Pam and I am from Farmersville, Texas. I am a christian as well and I can not imagine what you and your family are going through. I have a child that has a lot of medical issues as well but none so severe as Kayleighs. I am so thankful that you are strong believers in Christ because through times like this, it would be so much more difficult not knowing Him. I pray that Jesus will open your precious babies eyes to see the love awaiting her in Heaven. I pray that God will open your other babies eyes and hearts to know Him the way that you do and to be able to trust in His love and guidance. I pray Jesus wraps His wonderful arms around your entire family and hold each and every one of you to comfort you through this. I pray for peace for your precious angel that she may not be afraid that she would be ready to join our Lord and Savior. I also pray for strength for you and your husband to be there for your other children once she goes to be with the Lord. May God continue to guide you and your family every step of the way. In Jesus precious name. Amen.

  2. Yadira Roesener

    We are praying day and night for your precious family.
    The Hispanic Ministry is praying too. Our hearts are with you!
    The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knows those who take refuge in him.
    Nahum 1:7
    David, Yadira, Nathaniel and Michelle Roesener

  3. Debra Harvel

    I love her sparking earrings! Kayleigh, you and your family continue to amaze me and touch many many lives. I truly believe more people will believe in Jesus and go to heaven through your message. I love you all and know that Grace is taken care of by her HIS family.

  4. Sarah Garner

    All of you have been in prayers for months and I continue to pray for Kayleigh and the entire family.
    Grace was in my Sunday School Class a few years ago and she is a sweetheart, tell her I love her.

  5. Jenny Lawson

    Oh how I have wanted to see your sweet family again! I loved that God crossed our paths a few weekends ago. You all were a blessing to me more than you know and I will be praying for all of you! I was sad you guys were gone when I came back but glad that you are getting this time at home all together! Wish I could hug you! This post was just precious! And I just love reading what God shows you everyday. Much love, Nurse Jenny (your weekend night nurse)


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