In these past few weeks some days are hard, some are ok, some are terrible, and sometimes you have days like today – days that are beautiful 💜.
Kayleigh has been steadily declining each day over the last week. Friday night we were preparing to say good bye at any moment. Grief was palatable at our house – almost like you could breathe it in the air. Saturday morning we breathes a sigh of relief because she was still with us. Still groggy, but here. Today she was even a little better. Her color looks good, swelling has decreased, even her breathing is a little better. Speech is still hard to understand sometimes, especially if she is tired, but overall she is a little better. What a joy it is to be able to say that.
Of course medically there is no way for there to be improvement. We can only attribute this beautiful day as a gift from the Lord. So as we go to sleep tonight I am saying thank you. I have no idea what tomorrow will hold and that is ok, because I trust my heavenly Father completely. I was praying this evening asking for direction – because frankly, I don’t know what to pray. My heart screams for earthly healing because I want Kayleigh with me. Yet, at the same time, I know heavenly healing is actually far superior. No more pain of any kind. No heartache, no grief… Heaven is the ultimate goal. So what do I pray for? What is God’s will for Kayleigh? The answer is I still don’t know. At least not the specifics – and that is ok. My prayer now is truly, “Thy will be done”. I will have joy no matter how God answers.
After my prayer time I read a devotion and the verse was 2 Corinthians 12:9
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
And there you go. God’s grace is all I need. Today, tomorrow, and every day in the future. I’ve never really understood this verse until now. I see God’s power every day show up in my weakness. I certainly couldn’t walk this road without Him. I couldn’t look in Kayleigh’s fading face and find joy any other way. I pray each of you reading this are able to stop for just a moment and let it soak in that His grace is sufficient for all your needs.