October 30, 2016

In these past few weeks some days are hard, some are ok, some are terrible, and sometimes you have days like today – days that are beautiful 💜.

Kayleigh has been steadily declining each day over the last week. Friday night we were preparing to say good bye at any moment. Grief was palatable at our house – almost like you could breathe it in the air. Saturday morning we breathes a sigh of relief because she was still with us. Still groggy, but here. Today she was even a little better. Her color looks good, swelling has decreased, even her breathing is a little better. Speech is still hard to understand sometimes, especially if she is tired, but overall she is a little better. What a joy it is to be able to say that.

Of course medically there is no way for there to be improvement. We can only attribute this beautiful day as a gift from the Lord. So as we go to sleep tonight I am saying thank you. I have no idea what tomorrow will hold and that is ok, because I trust my heavenly Father completely. I was praying this evening asking for direction – because frankly, I don’t know what to pray. My heart screams for earthly healing because I want Kayleigh with me. Yet, at the same time, I know heavenly healing is actually far superior. No more pain of any kind. No heartache, no grief… Heaven is the ultimate goal. So what do I pray for? What is God’s will for Kayleigh? The answer is I still don’t know. At least not the specifics – and that is ok. My prayer now is truly, “Thy will be done”. I will have joy no matter how God answers.

After my prayer time I read a devotion and the verse was 2 Corinthians 12:9

9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

And there you go. God’s grace is all I need. Today, tomorrow, and every day in the future. I’ve never really understood this verse until now. I see God’s power every day show up in my weakness. I certainly couldn’t walk this road without Him. I couldn’t look in Kayleigh’s fading face and find joy any other way. I pray each of you reading this are able to stop for just a moment and let it soak in that His grace is sufficient for all your needs.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

 

Comments (5)

  1. Barbara Grimes

    Your posts are beautiful, and your faith is a powerful witness to all who read them. I am continuing to pray that God will grant each of you peace and that you will find rest in the comfort and joy of His love.

    Reply
  2. Paula Manning

    I am praying for you and your family. I can not even imagine the pain you are going through. I lost my grandson in a car incident 4 months ago. I did not get to say goodbye or to tell him how much I loved him. I miss him greatly. I am so thankful he knew God as his personal savior. I know where he is and I plan on seeing him again one day. I know you are cherishing every moment with Kayleigh. To everyone who reads this please take time each day to say the words I love you and show your family and friends how much they mean to you, for tomorrow may be to late. God be with you.

    Reply
  3. Yolanda

    ‘Carrow,
    I spent Saturday night and Sunday night reading Kayleigh’s story. Not sure HOW I stumbled upon it but I know the WHY. At this place in my life, I needed to see how “total faithfulness” looks in the flesh. Kayleigh’s story has blessed me abundantly. I pray that the God I know continues to grant you, your family and all those touched by this journey the peace that surpasses all understanding. Be blessed, my sister, be blessed.

    Reply
  4. Sue maples

    You and your family continue to be in my prayers

    Reply
  5. kathy chandler

    I just found this and my heart is breaking! I live in jasper Alabama and I am raising my little granddaughter. I just had to give her some extra hugging after reading this! Your baby girl is beautiful! Prayers for your family.

    Reply

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