Monthly Archive: September 2016

It has been a better day! Thank you Lord for blessing Kayleigh with a better day, it was much needed.

We were able to get her chemo back on track in the afternoon rather than first thing in the morning. We also made sure to get her anti-nausea meds and probiotics in her system ahead of the chemo and kept her diet very plain. All of those together made for a much better day.

She did however have a headache which we have not had to deal with in a couple of weeks. Because she was doing so well with everything we lowered her steroid dose slightly a couple of days ago. Usually day three (today) is when we start seeing how she will respond to the weaning. Unfortunately, Kayleigh’s little body has become very accustomed to the steroids and doesn’t like it very much when we lower them. It is our prayer that we will be able to keep her at the lower dose and manage any headaches with pain meds. Once her body adjusts to the lower dose, and we no longer need Tylenol, we will lower the steroids again. We very much want to get her all the way off these steroids but it is difficult. Please, please, please pray that we will be able to successfully wean her down to nothing.

Because she felt so much better today we were able to get out and about. We did some shopping, and visited with friends and enjoyed dinner with family. All in all today was a fantastic day! God is so good to encourage us with breaths of fresh air and we are so very thankful. He truly does supply our every need!

Philippians 4:19
And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

This picture is Kayleigh’s class – they are such wonderful, precious children! Her teacher is quite wonderful as well 💜

Mercy… Remember when we were kids and things got too rough you could call out “uncle” to make the rough housing stop? That’s where I am today, I just need to call “uncle”. Cancer royally sucks. I’ve been looking for a nicer way to express that but at the moment a broader vocabulary escapes me. I’m quite certain my mother will me appalled at that vernacular (sorry mom) but at the same time I think she will understand the sentiment.

Kayleigh has been an absolute trooper today. We started our morning painfully early. She had an EKG at 7:00 am and the day just kept on from there. She had 5 blood draws, the EKG, assessment & triage, clinic visit, PK nurse visits, Quality of Life nurse visits, and the horrific stomachache all day to just make things more difficult. She cried in public today for the very first time. That’s how I know the pain was intense. She is always so private about her fears and grief. She never shows it to anyone but me. Not even Tim. She lets everyone else see her brave face. But today it was too much and she broke.

So many things she gets from her daddy but that one she gets from me. Very rarely will anyone see me break. Panic never fixes anything, so weather the storm, take care of business, and fall apart on your own later, after the crisis has passed, and it doesn’t matter any more. I’m sure that says a lot about me but it’s how I seem to be wired. However, I am beginning to learn that even better than weathering the storm and falling apart later is to trust Jesus to weather the storm with you, draw from His strentgh and just skip the falling apart all together. So even on days like today, when I really just want to throw up my hands and cry “UNCLE” and let this be over, somehow, I can look at it and say somwhow, someway, God is going to use even this for good.

I have to trust that God’s plan, every piece, is perfect. That means that days like today are still a part of His perfect plan. When I look at my baby and see her suffer, oh what that does to my heart. Can you begin to imagine how God Almighty felt when His only son was crucified? Crucified for people that truly did not deserve such a precious gift. Yet He did it. My grief is nothing compared to that. And thinking like that makes me treasure my relationship with Jesus even more.

So, today was a hard day – but it was still a good day. It was another day I got to spend with Tim, Grace, Cole and Kayleigh. As I lay with my sweet Kayleigh tonight I can do nothing but give thanks for another day.

Please continue praying. Pray for tomorrow to be easier. For medicines to work better without stomach upset. For complete healing this side of heaven.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

This is Kayleigh removing her own IV… I told you she was a tuff cookie!!

It’s been another good day in Memphis! Stomach issues are still making progress! We even had to move her chemo up to earlier in the day for blood work and her system still handled it well! This is a HUGE thank you Jesus!

Tomorrow she will have a series of blood draws done throughout the day. We start at 7:00am and will go until mid afternoon. It’s going to be a long day and we would appreciate your prayers for the IV to work correctly and the blood draws to be quick and painless. The only places Kayleigh has for blood draws are her hands. Her right hand is black and blue from the last time but her left hand sometimes doesn’t work fantastic. Our prayer is that the left hand will work easily and that she will not have a great deal of discomfort. I know if we have our prayer warriors on it that it will make a big difference!

Tonight Kayleigh and I had a date, just the two of us. Dinner and a movie, it was lovely. Often times I find when I slow down fear can creep in. As I sat and held her fear tried to work its way into my heart. Worry that my time with her might be limited. Each trailer for a movie coming out in months that she wants to see and the nagging thought, “will she?” But even as those thoughts try to take root I am reminded to choose to take them captive and hand them over to God. He already knows the plan – and His plan is far better than mine. So tonight as I sit with my precious girl I am specifically redirecting my thoughts to Jesus. Intentionally saying thank you. Thank you for new opportunities to learn to trust. Thank you for what He is showing me each day. Thank you for each minute I get to treasure and each memory I get to store away. I certainly don’t understand the why, but I don’t need to. Know that God knows the why is good enough for me.

2 Corinthians 10:5
5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow 💜

Happy Tuesday all! It is a pretty happy Tuesday here in Memphis, Kayleigh’s belly is making positive progress, hallelujah!!! We added a probiotic and that seems to be making a noticeable difference. We are also closely monitoring what she eats and how it makes her feel. We know too much sugar really makes it worse, but that works out well since we really need to steer clear of sugar anyway. Now we just have to figure out what foods are best, that’s still a big task but we are so thankful to have at least turned the corner!

I am also happy to report better balance, no headaches, no double vision, and an overall good attitude. Her spunk and attitude are working at full strength and it is wonderful. No matter what the doctors, MRI’s or anything else say, I am seeing improvement in my girl and it is so incredibly amazing. Our God is so very, very good.

My prayer now is that we will not take this beautiful reprieve for granted. That we will not become lazy in our walk with the Lord. We are quick to sit at His throne when things are not going well and we need help. Yet it is so easy to slip away when things are going well and we don’t feel like we need His help for every moment. My verse tonight was Matthew 7:7-8

7 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

Keep on asking, keep on seeking. The war is still being waged, we cannot give up. So as I sit here tonight with an incredibly humble and thankful heart, I am reminded to remain persistent. To keep asking for healing this side of heaven. To keep asking for the side effects to stay away. To keep asking for the stomach pains to stop. To just keep asking. So, I will. I will work to find the balance of living happily and thankfully in this moment and asking for God’s beautiful blessings to continue fall on us.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow 💜

Hello folks! I have little change to report today. Stomach issues remain. It appears to be the worse right after she takes the medicines and gradually gets a bit better over the next 18 hours. The 6 hours she has before the next dose are the best hours, but even during those hours, if she eats – her stomach hurts.

Right now I am trying to figure out what foods really make it hurt and what foods do better. Hopefully we can do some things to help give her system a break. Even with the tummy aches she is still a trooper. Her spirits are good and that is good for all of us!

Please keep praying, we certainly need God’s guidance and direction for how to help our girl feel better!!

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow 💜