Monthly Archive: November 2016

Psalm 118:24
This is the day the Lord had made. We will rejoice and be glad in it!

Indeed, this is the day the Lord has made and oh what a beautiful day it has been. One full of family time and healing. I know each day of our journey will be different – some days will be harder than others. We will have days when we weep with grief, and then we will have days like today where we enjoyed God’s beauty and just being a family. I know there will be ups and downs, and that is ok. Because I know God is using each of those ups and downs to teach us. Grow us. Make us better able to relate to others that have been (or will be) on this path.

I know if we choose to walk closely with Him, He will be our shield – and the lifter of our heads. What an amazing promise that is! I don’t have to have the answers. I don’t have to be ok all the time. I will draw my strength from the Lord and have more good than bad. But when I struggle, He will shield me. He will uphold me. Even on the hard days, I have no reason to fear.

Psalm 3:3
3 But you, O Lord, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.

Isaiah 41:10
10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Deuteronomy 33:27a
27 The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you.

I don’t know where you are today or what you are facing but if your salvation is in Jesus, then you have access to these same truths. This is your God. You have no need to fear, no matter the circumstance before you. Stand tall my friend in His grace and mercy. And while you are standing firm, don’t forget to readily extend grace and mercy to everyone around you, whether they deserve it or not. We certainly didn’t earn our place, it was our precious gift from God the Father through Jesus His son. If we want to draw others to our precious Savior, then we need to be the kind of people they want to be around!

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

The nasty stomach bug seems to have finally departed. Grace succumbed to it late last night but started feeling a little better by this afternoon. We were finally able to venture out for a little bit, just to drive around and take in a movie, but that was still quite an improvement from the last 36 hours!

It seems as the fog of sickness rolled out the fog of sadness had room to roll back in. I never wanted to be a family of four. As I sat tonight pouring my heart out to the Lord, telling Him that I trust Him but that I am so sad, telling Him that I just wanted Kayleigh back, asking Him to draw near because my heart feels so broken, and then He showed up. Just like always.

I opened my devotion “Every Day In His Presence” by Charles F. Stanley, and this is what I read…

“Today, be grateful for what you have. It may not seem like much – it may not appear to be enough at the moment. But give the Lord thanks anyway.”

My family of four may not seem like enough today, but they are. Oh how much I have to be thankful for. Yes, I still grieve, but I know where Kayleigh is and I know it is only a matter of time before I see her again. I also know that I still have two beautiful blessings from the Lord. Blessings that are counting on me, that need me. How Tim and I choose to respond each day will greatly effect how they respond, and we want them to respond with hope, faith and trust.

So, we will choose to trust in the Lord. Choose to trust in His plan. We will choose to keep our eyes on Him and trust Him to direct our path. Really, it’s all about the choice.

Tonight I am reminded of all the good things in my life and who is responsible for them. Thank you Lord for your continued blessings.

James 1:17
17 Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

Well today did not go quite as planned. We had intended to enjoy being a family, instead Tim and I both woke with a stomach bug… yuck!!! We have been quarantined to our room nearly all day trying to keep it from the kids. It’s funny though, months ago I probably would have been frustrated by this nasty monkey wrench. But not today. Don’t get me wrong, I felt genuinely horrible, but from my room I could hear Grace and Cole playing.

Where we are we have no wifi so they had to actually interact with each other. Yes, there was a little sibling squabbling, but overall it was just right. Both of the children are sad, but Cole has been struggling the most. Kayleigh was his partner in crime. Being only 18 months apart they were just naturally close. He is battling being mad, and sad, and just not knowing how to process it all. But today there was a little shift. He and Grace enjoying each other. It was good.

So somehow I get to say I am thankful for a stomach bug. I will be thrilled if God doesn’t use this method again to draw the kids together though. It’s awful.

We would appreciate your prayers for a speedy recovery. That tomorrow we will be able to actually get out and enjoy the town. And that the kids do not get it!

Romans 8:28 seems like the perfect verse tonight. God says EVERYTHING will work together for good, not just some things. So if you can shift your thinking from what’s going wrong to what’s going right you stand a chance of seeing God in action in the smallest of things.

Romans 8:28
28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

For those of you that did not see Kayleigh’s Celebration of Life service but would like to, here is the link. The slide show in the beginning is wonderful. So many sides to our precious girl 💜

https://livestream.com/cbcdecaturlive/prayersforkayleigh

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

November 19, 2016

Hello friends,

Welcome to day 1 of “Now What…” For the last six months and 9 days our world has revolved completely around Kayleigh. We have treasured every moment, spent countless hours together, built beautiful memories. Yesterday’s Celebration of Life service was the culmination of what I am beginning to look at as Phase One – and now we are waiting for God’s perfect plan to come together.

I believe God allowed us to walk this path with Kayleigh for a reason. I believe he did not answer our prayers for earthly healing for a reason as well. I don’t know what that is just yet, but I know God will reveal it to me in time. His time of course, not mine.

So, as we woke this morning as a family of four, we packed up and left town. Tim and I decided a little time with just the four of us would probably be a good thing. Going somewhere that we are not quite as well known and allow the children a little space to breathe and begin to heal.

We would very much appreciate you prayers for all of us. Particularly that our children will lean into God and find peace. We also very much need help discerning what we do next. But, for now we are going to relax, recharge, and wait for the Lord to tell us where to go next.

Thank you for continuing to walk with us!

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

Oh what a beautiful day it has been. My prayer has been that Kayleigh would be healed, grow up, get married one day and have children of her own. I had hoped to have the opportunity to plan a big church wedding for her but that was just not God’s plan for my sweet girl. But that just meant that today needed to be extra special. Today was her big church party and it turned out exceptionally well.

Beautiful pictures of Kayleigh were displayed everywhere. Special treasures she received during her battle were set out for people to see. Flowers were at every corner. It was the perfect celebration of her life and we are so incredibly thankful for all of the amazing people that helped us make so.

God has been so gracious today to grant us amazing strength and His perfect peace. Tim and I have been able to celebrate our daughter and worship our Lord with family and friends from all over.

I especially loved this verse Bro. Rob used today. It has been one of my thoughts for a while now – that by taking Kayleigh to heaven now he has spared her from any additional hurts.

Isaiah 57:1
1 Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come.

I leave you tonight with the end of the letter that I wrote for Kayleigh’s eulogy.

Oh my darling Kayleigh, how I love you so. You, my beautiful girl, are one of the most precious treasures God has ever given me, and how thankful I am that He chose to entrust you into our care. I never could have anticipated God’s plan for your life. I never would have thought our time with you would be so short. The day we found out you had a brain tumor I remember very clearly hearing “seven is the number of completion” in the back of my head. Oh how I hoped and prayed that was just an errant thought. Yet now, as I can look back and see how your life has unfolded, I can see that you are indeed perfectly complete. Your seven years here on earth have been a joy. I knew you were my last baby and I treasured every little detail. I held you longer, rocked you more, little did I realize that was God storing up precious memories for me from the beginning. My good, good Father making sure we would have no regrets, only beautiful memories and hope for eternity. And while my heart is broken because it misses you so – at the same time my heart is filled with awe at the amazing things God has done through you.

You always told me you were, “just a little girl.” I would tell you how far you story was reaching and how you were making a difference and you would just shake your head. I hope now that you are watching from heaven you can truly see just what an impact you have had. Your legacy is one of joy through adversity and hope in all situations. You amazed me with your heart and your fight. I am so proud to call you my daughter, we will never forget.

I love you my Baby Duck,
Mommy

Fly high my beautiful girl, thank you again Heather Mitchell for this picture to treasure.