Monthly Archive: January 2017

God Chose You…

John 15:16
You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.

Those were the first words I read this morning. How amazing and humbling at the same time. God chose us – you and me. Not because we deserve it or because we have earned it, but because He loves us. He sees us, even in our brokenness, and He loves us.

That love, should we choose to accept it, revolutionizes our world. It empowers us to walk through the most difficult situations. It allows us to extend grace and mercy to those who have hurt us. It gives us the capacity to love others that doesn’t make worldly sense. It heals our deepest hurts and fill our hearts with joy.

It does not say anywhere that we will be spared from trials, trouble, sadness, grief or pain. This world is broken, and those things are a product of the brokenness. But, God does tell us that we are never alone. And that we have eternity to spend with Him, in a perfect heaven, for those of us who choose His free gift of salvation. What comfort and joy!

Where ever you are, stop for just a minute and know that the God of the universe has chose you. YOU! Whatever your background, God can use you for His glory – if you’re willing.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

We made it to the weekend! Can I get a hallelujah? This week was full of ups and downs. Struggling to find a routine that once was so normal but now seems like a challenge. It’s so strange how everything is so familiar. I mean, this was our normal life until last May – but now it is somehow exactly the same yet totally different at the same time. Probably because I too am the same but different. Kayleigh’s journey has altered me on a fundamental level. My perspective has changed. I’m quite certain that is a God thing. I don’t know why I need this new perspective but I’m sure God will reveal that reason to me in His time.

Thankfully, God is good to stay close with me as I navigate the new, different, sameness. Only He can make sense of my head and heart, and keep me on the right path. My devotion tonight reminded me that more often than not His plans are not the same as mine. But when that happens, it just means He has better things in store for me than I can imagine.

Isaiah 41:10
10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

I pray that as you find yourself in hard situations you won’t be discouraged. that God will be who you look to for guidance and direction.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

This is one of my favorite pictures. I look at it and wow, I miss that sweet girl. But I trust my God. I know His plan is for good, not just for me but for Kayleigh, Grace, Cole and Tim as well.

2 This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. 3 For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. 4 He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
-Psalm 91:2-4

Oh how true these verses are. As our family transitions back to work and school there are so many things that can go wrong. So much unknown which can easily breed turmoil. Yet that has not been the case. Sure, we have moments where the waves of sadness catch us. But we have learned to trust our faithful God. Learned to turn our faces toward Him and seek refuge in the shelter of His wings.

No matter what your situation may be, the same is true for you. There is nothing too big for God. There is no situation you face that takes Him by surprise. And while you may get startled or scared by the unexpected, if you make the choice to trust God, you too will find safe shelter under His wings – no matter what is going on around you.

We have learned to live this way out of necessity. There is no way our family could have survived Kayleigh’s cancer and death with out our hope in Christ and God’s immeasurable peace. While this is not the way I would have chosen to learn this lesson, I know that it is one that will resonate with me for the rest of my life. I have experienced this peace. I know what it feels like to walk boldly, confident that God is at work and His plan is perfect. I have stood in the center of the storm, watching the winds swirl around me – and been able to smile, because no matter how hard the storm tried, it could not reach me. And none of those things have anything to do with me, but everything to do with Christ in me.

I pray each of you will hold tight to your faith and find a way to smile at the storm.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

Oh how I love friends that send me pictures of purple sunrises. I’m sure Kayleigh is enjoying the view from heaven!

Thank you Lord for a better day. Not better for any amazing reason, better because even while it was hard – I found Jesus waiting for me every time I looked for him. More than once today I needed the Lord’s strength, and every time is was there the moment I needed it. Resting in His word are the answers to everything.

So tonight I’m going to share with you the many different verses that the Lord put in my path today to encourage, strengthen, and enable me to continue moving forward. Like I said, I needed quite a bit of help today, so there are more verses than usual. But if you can hang on and read them all, I think you will be amazed at just how perfect His words were for me today…

Colossians 1:9-12
9 So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. 10 Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. 11 We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, 12 always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light.

What comforting words for wisdom, understanding, strength, endurance and patience. All things we need on a daily basis.

Psalm 126:4-6
4 Restore our fortunes, Lord, as streams renew the desert. 5 Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. 6 They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.

A gentle reminder that now, as we share our tears, planting seeds, one day there will be a harvest. We will never know the impact of Kayleigh’s life until we get to heaven, and that is ok. We know God promises a harvest with shouts of joy!

And finally…

John 16:33
33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

What more fitting verse could God have given me to end my day on? He has told me all these things so I may have His peace. There is no better gift.

So again I will say, thank you Lord for a better day. I am looking forward to what He has in store for tomorrow.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

This precious treasure was done just weeks before Kayleigh went home to be with Jesus. It lays by my bedside so I can hold her hand for just a moment each night before I go to sleep. How thankful I am for such a treasure.

Hello friends – today was the first work day of 2017 for me. Actually, it was the first day of work for me since May 10, 2016. I have been blessed beyond measure to take leave from work to care for Kayleigh. I am so thankful for the time I have had with her and with my family. I did not miss a single, precious moment of her life. What a beautiful gift.

After Kayleigh’s death I just wasn’t ready to return to work immediately. While I find it therapeutic to write each night, I couldn’t imagine resuming work or answering questions so soon after her death. I decided to take off through the holidays to take care of Grace and Cole and try to get our new lives in order. I am so thankful for that time as well. Time to process, grieve, and find my footing. As always, God’s timing is perfect. He blessed me with enough time – and then, the desire to return to work.

As I lay down tonight, I can say it has been a good but difficult day. Good to be back with friends, family, and co-workers that I love. But hard to resume normal when my heart feels anything but normal. I keep reminding myself that moving forward is not leaving Kayleigh behind. In truth, moving forward is taking me closer to her, little by little. And while I move closer to her and eternity, my job is to try to help as many people as possible find hope in dark situations. Joy in pain.

I know for a fact my faith in Christ Jesus is all that has carried me. Each morning He give me the strength for one more day – and that is enough. All I need is one day at a time. One. Day. At. A. Time. And my eyes on Jesus.

Hebrews 2:1b-2a
1b And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2a We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.

Even though today was a hard day, I am looking forward to tomorrow. Because I know each day God will heal my heart a little more. Each day will get a little better, a little easier.

Until a better tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜