Monthly Archive: February 2017

Happy Monday friends,

It’s been a busy day here. As we work to get the foundation’s first event off the ground, the details seem to be filling every spare moment we have. Tim and I of course have our “real” jobs as well which means every moment of every day is filled to the brim. Frankly, I am exhausted, but I know there is relief on the horizon.

We have an amazing team helping us, for which we are so very thankful. Really, every bit of this event is their ideas, Tim and I are just excited we get to be a part! We are also looking forward to sharing everything with all of you. I know I keep saying that, but we are getting really close.

But no matter how excited we get over this upcoming event, we cannot forget what our purpose is. To point other to Christ. To share our amazing story of how the Lord has carried us through the most tragic of circumstances. To share hope, even from the depths of deepest despair. We have endured the storm and continue to hold fast, even though we are still battered from every side.

Tonight I am tired. My heart is so very weary. The tasks ahead seem so enormous, yet I know my God is bigger. So even in my weakness, I have no doubts that my God has everything under control. HE has the plan. HE makes the way. And since I trust him, I say, “Yes, Lord” and follow where He leads.

This verse from a devotion today reminds me that my focus belongs on heavenly things. While everything going on around me has the potential to be an amazing blessing, they don’t matter as much as the One who grants the blessing. So I will set my eyes on those things that I cannot see, and I will trust the Father to lead me where He would have me go.

2 Corinthians 4:18
18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

Please lift our family up in prayer as we continue to heal. Our hearts are still so tender. We are trying to move forward, but some days are harder than others. Watching our children struggle is one of the most difficult things I face each day. Praying for the right words to offer comfort while pointing them back to the ultimate comforter.

Thank you for standing with us.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

Precious memories from when life was normal

Happy Sunday Friends!

It was a beautiful day here in North Alabama. The weather was unseasonably warm – as in 80 degrees – and the sun was shining. Beautiful weather always brightens my spirit. Of course, worshiping in God’s house, with His people is even better. The love and support Tim and I receive from our church family is part of what keeps us going. We are so thankful for the body of Christ we have the opportunity to be a part of.

Another vital part of our support system is our small group. The four families we started sharing life with about 3 years ago have been through some incredibly difficult times. Yet, we have stayed together, loving and supporting each other any way we can. It doesn’t change the circumstances around us, but it lightens to load immeasurably when you have many people carrying a piece of your burden. And not because the feel obligated, but because they love you and want to do anything possible to make your life better.

As I sit here tonight reflecting over how God has cared for us, I continue to be amazed. You see, we have amazing families. Close knit brothers, sister, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. People we know will always be there for us. But with Kayleigh’s death, each part of our family is dealing with their own grief. Struggling to find the joy each day. Searching for the positive. It’s hard.

God knew we would need extended family. Church family to help carry us. So years ago He began laying that foundation. It’s amazing to look back and just see how His hand guided each price and person into place. Each “for such a moment as this.”

I pray each of you has a church home with people that love you. But I know in reality many of you do not. My suggestion is for you to find a church you want to be a part of and get yourself plugged in. Learn, grow and share. Our God is truly amazing.

Proverbs 27:17
17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Proverbs 17:17
17 A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

Proverbs 18:24
24 There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

Our church family

Our small group

It’s been another good day. A busy day filled with family and friends – what a blessing. One of those friends sent me a song today. Not just any friend, Kayleigh’s teacher this year. It made me cry, but not a bad cry. It just seemed to capture our lives these past 9 months and say everything that is in my heart.

I am copying some of the lyrics below as well as the link to the song. Read these words and then go have a listen. The last verse below is where it got me. The line that says “…here when the healing hasn’t happened yet…” That’s where I am. My heart is still broken, but I don’t doubt my God is here. He knows my hurts and feels my pain. He never leaves me, and always draws me near – overwhelming me with peace.

Thank you Emily Jackson Stipe, this is just what I needed tonight. I’m downloading it now so I can listen often.

Find You Here – Ellie Holcomb

It’s not the news that any of us hoped that we would hear,
It’s not the road we would have chosen, no.
The only thing that we can see is darkness up ahead –
but you’re asking us to lay our worry down and sing a song instead.

And I didn’t know I’d find you here, in the middle of my deepest fear,
but you were drawing near, you were overwhelming me with peace.
So I lift my voice and sing: “You’re gonna carry us through everything!”
You were drawing near, you’re overwhelming all my fears with peace.

You say that I should come to you with everything I need.
You’re asking me to thank you even when the pain is deep.
You promise that you’ll come and meet us on the road ahead.
And no matter what the fear says, you give me a reason to be glad.

And I didn’t know I’d find you here, in the middle of my deepest fear,
but you were drawing near me, you were overwhelming me with peace.
So I lift my voice and sing: “You’re gonna carry me through everything.”
You were drawing near, you’re overwhelming all my fear.

Here in the middle of the lonely night, here in the middle of the losing fight,
you’re here in the middle of the deep regret, here when the healing hasn’t happened yet.
Here in the middle of the desert place, here in the middle when I cannot see your face,
Here in the middle with your outstretched arms, you can see my pain and it breaks your heart.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

Oh my goodness, I am exhausted – but it was worth it. Today has been a great day! Our little Prayers For Kayleigh Foundation is official. All the paperwork has been filed, bank account opened, and as of 10:45 tonight, bylaws written. Baby Duck would be so proud!

I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to know we are doing something so positive. Raising money for research, helping families, giving back to the community, sharing Kayleigh’s story. Somehow, it’s like I am still being allowed to tend her. To love on her and care for her. No, her body is no longer with me, but her spunk and spirit are a live and well.

Nothing shows that more than the softball community that has rallied today. What precious friends, near and far, working to honor Kayleigh. I’ve never seen anything like it. Knowing its my baby, that is so humbling – and we are so thankful! No matter the outcome, we can see, yet again, just how much she is loved.

Proverbs 18:24
24 There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Your guys cannot know just how much we treasure you. Your kind words, continued prayers, and petition signing. Thank you. Today has been a good day. It feels really good to say that. Thank you Jesus for a new day.

Unit tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

Oh my goodness, thank you friends for so much love and support. Your messages reminding me that Kayleigh matters, not just to us but to all of you as well, have been so very kind. I also appreciate the many of you that thought her name belonged on a field, it’s a beautifully idea, and if it is the right thing, then it will work itself out in time.

I think I should clarify that the field naming wasn’t the cause of my sadness last night. It was simply another of the darts that come hurling at me. There are plenty of things that make me sad. Things like finding her tooth brush in my overnight bag. Finding a pair of her socks in the wash. Seeing the rubber bands for her hair in my drawer. Watching her friends grow up. Celebrating birthday parties with kids her age. They are all turning 8, and she never will.

Thank you that so many of you were ready to champion her cause. That makes my heart smile. Having so many of you still behind her – still wanting what would make her happy. It’s amazing. But her name on the field isn’t going to fix the pain of loss. Only time and God’s grace will fix this.

Today John 10:10 was the first verse I read. I was reminded that Satan will use any and everything to steal my joy. But he is only successful if I allow him to be. I get to choose – so I choose joy.

John 10:10
10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

God’s purpose is to give us a rich and satisfying life… That is an amazing promise.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜