Softball season is in full swing. I love this time of year, being at the park, watching kids running everywhere, visiting with parents. It’s always amazing to see how much the kids mature, grow and improve year to year. As much as I love it, this year is hard.
As with so many things, my perspective has changed. Looking around the park I no longer see strangers and opposing teams, I just see family. I see the people that rallied behind us, prayed for us, raised money, and loved us. My favorite part is the hugs from Kayleigh’s friends – they haven’t forgotten her. While it brings me so much joy to see them growing up, it breaks my heart at the same time. There is no growing up for Kayleigh, she will be forever frozen at 7 in my heart.
It would be so very easy to allow myself to stay in the sadness. There are certainly plenty of things to mourn and the devil likes to remind me of what I’ve lost. What I am coming to understand more each day is that it’s not about me. It’s not about what I’ve lost. It about what Kayleigh has won. It’s about eternal life. It’s about running the race that is in front of me, trusting that God’s plan is perfect and that He is sovereign above all else. It’s about looking past the pain of now to the hope of the future.
Amazingly, when it stops being all about me, and becomes all about God, everything changes. Joy replaces hopelessness and peace replaces anxiety. This verse from Job says it perfectly…
Job 43:5
5 I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes.
Yes, I’ve heard about God and His goodness all my life, but now I have seen it for myself. Some things simply cannot be understood or appreciated fully until they are tested.
Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜
