It’s been a good day but a hard day at our house. Kayleigh woke up headache free this morning which was such a blessing. Everyone got dressed and ready for the day but by the time we got in the car and made it to school Kayleigh’s head was hurting badly. It seems light, sound & movement trigger the headache and once it starts it just continues to linger.
Today she was only headache free for a couple of hours all day. The rest of the day she had to stay seated or laying down where it was quiet and semi-dark. One good thing is that most of the time the headache isn’t terribly severe so she isn’t getting sick.
What I hate most is what the headaches make her think about. Especially 3 days of headaches. She’s a smart cookie, her thoughts are much like mine. “Is the tumor growing?” being her number one fear. But that fear leads to darker thoughts and more hard conversations. One of her fears is that if she gets sicker and needs more care, that I will think she is too much trouble and just leave. She worries that if she is too much to take care of that I won’t love her. And then she is worried about death. Worried about something happening to me that takes me away from her and worried that she might go first and not be with me. Ugh. She is too young to have to think like this!
But thankfully God continues to give me the words to soothe her. I reminded her that she can never be too much trouble because God will never give me too much to take care of- because as long as I am following Him, HE will be the one doing the carrying, and He promises me joy and new mercies each morning. We spent more time talking about death but finally I looked at her and just told her there was no reason to cry because today was not her day. God only promises us the day we are in so we will live that day to the fullest and let tomorrow take care of itself. I also told her that I am quite certain that God is not done with her yet. She and I have a lot more work to do telling people about the love, hope, grace and mercy of God. She can’t be done yet! Amazingly it was that, reminding her of her purpose that calmed her.
That really goes for all of us. If we are walking according to God’s purpose for our lives nothing else matters. It’s amazing just how simple that truly is. Notice I didn’t say easy, because I can promise it’s not easy, but my life is much simpler now. We still have struggles but it’s just different now. I see the struggles now as opportunities. Opportunities to trust God and watch Him work and opportunities to share with all of you what He is doing.
Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.”
Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜
