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Ok, I thought I was done talking to you guys tonight. But then I realized that I gave you the update but not my verses for today. Have I mentioned recently that I don’t believe in coincidences? From the songs God played for me today, to the devotion I had this afternoon, our gracious Father has been loving on me and reminding me that no matter what Man says, HE is the one sitting on the throne.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10
8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

As Kayleigh continues to have treatment and scans and as I continue to petition the Lord on her behalf (because I will be petitioning the Lord for as long as I have breath in my body – if nothing else I’m persistent) I take comfort in Paul’s words. He too asked the Lord to take something away and the Lord did not answer his request as Paul had hoped. Rather, God reminded Paul that “grace is all you need”. So – we will boast in our weakness, in the futility of our situation, because we know that in our weakness HE becomes strong, and ultimately God’s glory is what matters.

Good night for real
Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

I know many of you have been waiting for an update today so I am posting earlier than usual. We had the scans early and the neuro follow up just before lunch. Then we had a date to our favorite cupcake shop, lunch (yes, in that order), and an afternoon nap just because we could!

I wish I was reporting a miraculous clear scan – but I am not. As I am learning, God’s plan is often different from my own. Kayleigh’s scans show the tumor is a little larger than it was in May. Obviously, we had hoped for some shrinking so that news is disappointing. The scan does show quite a bit more necrosis, which is dead tissue so that is positive. However, necrosis is still taking up space so that causes initially the same issues as active tumor. Also, the edges of the tumor still appear to be undamaged and active. Thankfully, her shunt is in place and is doing its job which relieves pressure and helps with symptoms.

So what does that mean? Medically, it is possible that as the radiation inflammation wears off there may be some shrinking and even improvement of symptoms. But, because the tumor still has an active edge the doctor believes it’s just a matter of time before it begins processing again. As you can probably tell from this report, we are dealing with an aggressive disease so it is important for us to continue treatment.

So, while this isn’t the most positive news it also isn’t a surprise to us. Tim and I both had the feeling that Kayleigh wasn’t done touch hearts and influencing people. Of course we would be over the moon to have healing right now, but I am thankful that the Holy Spirit prepared both of our hearts separately so that today’s news wasn’t devastating. We didn’t see the scans and become shattered, we heard the news and understood that God has more in store for us and Kayleigh.

So now we send all the scans off to the different trial options and pray for doors to open and God to clear a path for the direction we need to go. We have an idea of what we want to do, or maybe what we think is the right option, but we are praying that God will either clear the path for us to go – and let me tell you that will be a big deal if He does that because that path looks nearly impossible – or shut the doors clearly so we have no doubts.

Another blessing is that her doctor is on board to get her scans to all the doctors we want to send them to and that is a huge blessing. They are offering to FedEx everything we need to get answers as quickly as possible. As I have written this our Christian radio station has played Thy Will, We Will Not Be Shaken and In The Eye of The Storm… That isn’t a coincidence. God continues to conform us in amazing ways, confirming to us that He is in control. Even with less than stellar news we still are at peace.

What we need from all of you is for you to keep praying. Praying that the radiation does in fact shrink the effected area and that relief is lasting. Keep praying for a complete miracle. Her doctor tells us with what he is seeing today – for Kayleigh to ever have a clear scan – it would be “remarkable”. So – that’s your word to pray for specifically, pray for remarkable. And for the right doors to open and God to direct Tim and I clearly.

We love you all and are so thankful to have you on this path walking with us.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

We have arrived safely back at St. Jude!

We checked in at 6:00 tonight , just in time for Kayleigh to head to the hospital to have labs done. It still amazes me just how well she does for blood draws, never a tear or a complaint, and never stops smiling and giving the nurses a hard time. She’s a trooper!

We are scheduled for her MRI tomorrow morning at 6:45 am and the follow-up neuro consult at 11:15. As I sit here tonight, I do not have the words to express my desires to the Lord. I have complete peace that God is in control and that His plan is perfect. I know that He is using Kayleigh and her story in ways that I will never know. Every story, message, text, comment that is shared telling me how she is impacting hearts and changing lives encourages me that we are following God’s path for us. And that truly, God is using even this terrible thing for good like only He could. Romans 8:28 in living, breathing, tangible, action.

And yet, even with all this good I see, my hearts deepest desire is that He will grant my precious girl a miracle. That he will grant Kayleigh a clear scan. As my human eyes look at her and see the lingering side effects my brain says a clear scan is not possible. Yet as my heart looks at her it says God is mighty and able to do this and even more than I can possibly ask for. And so I ask. And I ask all of you to petition our Heavenly Father on Kayleigh’s behalf. Petition Jehova Rapha – the God who heals – for complete healing, for clear scans, for a miracle this side of heaven. Petition Him believing that He is able.

And as I go to sleep with this precious treasure God has entrusted to me wrapped tightly in my arms I will continue to fervently pray – because I am her mother and this is how I fight for her. But I know ultimately, this battle has already been won. It was won that day, thousands of years ago, when my savior chose to die in my place. Jesus defeated death, Kayleigh has chosen Jesus, I have chosen Jesus, so in my heart I am able to say – without reservation – Thy will be done.

Hebrews 12:1-2
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

Tucked in with her bunny

My beautiful dinner date 

Hello Prayer Warriors, happy Saturday night to you all!

We have had a lovely, easy going, Saturday and it has been wonderful! We slept late, had friends over to visit and then swam in the rain, met one of my brothers and his family for dinner & ice cream, and packed for St. Jude. We are very thankful for his past week that has allowed us to rest and recuperate. I don’t think we were really aware how badly we needed some time to just be a family.

Tonight as Kayleigh and I are snuggling in the bed I asked her what I should share. At first she didn’t know, but somehow our conversation made it around to worrying. I can’t imagine being 7 and having all of this going on. Kayleigh has amazed me with her grace, poise and maturity. Even her questions are beyond her years. And often, I do not have the answers to the questions that she asks. So tonight, as her mind was working through her questions, and the unknown was becoming a little heavy, God brought Matthew 6:25-34 to mind.

As Kayleigh and I worked through that scripture, piece by piece, applying it specifically to her, I could physically see her fear and worry being replaced by peace. The tension melted from her little body and she has drifted off to sleep. But before she drifted off to sleep I asked if maybe I should share these verses with all of you. She wanted to know why grown ups would need these verses. I explained to her that grown ups are even worse than kids about worrying. Too often we get caught up in the circumstances that we are in and forget to look to the one that is in control.

So my friends, here are your verses from Kayleigh tonight. I pray if you find yourself worrying about anything that these will help you let go of the worry. God is bigger than any circumstance, even brain cancer.

Matthew 6:25-34
25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? 28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? 31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. 34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow 💜

Kayleigh’s incision still doesn’t need to be soaking in pool water so we sat up a baby pool so she could feel apart  

Mans then ALL the girls wound up in the baby pool leaving Cole to enjoy the big pool all by himself!

It was a beautiful Friday.

Kayleigh and I had a lovely afternoon just the two of us. We took a little time to stop by some of our friends to say hello and thank them for their support. Our little town is truly amazing. Local businesses are supporting our sweet girl wearing purple, multiple times anonymous people have kindly paid our check when we are out to eat, the school has her name on the sign out front, our mail lady has a big purple bow on her mail truck, every mailbox in our neighborhood has a purple ribbon. No matter where I go, people stop me to let us know that they are praying for all of us. It is so good to be home!!

As we prepare to return to St. Jude we are slowly but surely knocking items off the to do list. I think by the time we leave on Sunday we will have things under control and manageable. It’s a very strange place we find ourselves in these days. We have no plans past getting scans. We know we need to do something, we just have no idea what that is yet. And trying to plan when you don’t know what your planing for is quite difficult! So rather than focus on the unknown ahead we are just enjoying each day and making the best tentative plans possible.

Please keep on praying for healing and direction. We know God is going to move all the parts to the places they need to be and that includes us!

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

This amazing bear is made completely from one of her All Star uniforms!

Visiting friends at People’s Bank!