Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
– 2 Corinthians 12:9
This is me tonight. Today has been a good day, but it has also been an emotional day. A day where I have felt the weight of Kayleigh’s absence. It’s a void that cannot be described. It’s just empty. And it’s not just me – Tim, Grace, Cole and I have all had moments of sadness today. I found Cole standing in Kayleigh’s room tonight, just staring at her stuffed animals and the pictures of her around the room. All he could say is “I just miss her.”
I think that is where I am too. My heart is at peace, because I know God’s plan is perfect. I have hope, because I know I will see Kayleigh again. I have joy, because my trust is in God Almighty. But even with all of God’s goodness, grace and mercy – I still miss her. I miss her smile. Her hugs. Her touch. Her smell. The sound of her voice. My arms still ache to hold her and my heart still hurts. Honestly, if I live to be 100, those things will never change, but I know my Savior will never leave me. He will always be with me to heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds.
As always, when my heart is broken, God speaks to me through His word. My devotion tonight said, “adversity is God’s choice tool for building character, deepening our relationship with Christ, and equipping us for future ministry.” And then I read 2 Corinthians 12:9 which reminds me that God’s grace is all I need, and that His power works best in my weakness. I can attest to the fact that this is true. It certainly isn’t how I would have chosen to grow in Christ, but it has changed me for the better and I am thankful.
Each day our precious girl’s story touches people hearts. Her seven years were the perfect number for her. God is good to continuously share Kayleigh’s legacy with us through the stories from others. Stories of hope, change, growth and redemption. So, yes – I just miss her. I will always miss her, but I know God is going to get all of us through this. And not just help is survive the heartache, but I believe He is going to help us thrive.
Psalm 147:3
3 He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
Psalm 55:22
22 Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
Thank you for continuing to walk with us on this journey. Please keep praying for each of us as we process and grieve differently.
Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜
This is the top of our Christmas tree, it seemed appropriate to make it purple. That’s Kayleigh’s 1 year portrait on the wall – it looks like she approves.
