Hello Friends –
Today has been a better day. It’s still been a struggle, but I am learning that my struggles are a part of the process. That doesn’t mean I like the struggles. I don’t like being sad. I don’t like that being around Kayleigh’s friends make me miss her more. A part of me would like to get past hurting and move on. I don’t like being sad! But… I know this process is a part of God’s plan. I know that our journey and my sorrows are equipping me to help other people navigate hurt, loss and despair.
I can tell you that understanding doesn’t make me like the process, but I can appreciate it better. I can see that our pain allows us to relate to people differently. One of our prayers for Kayleigh was simply, “Thy will be done. ” Oh how I wish His answer would have been different. Yet, if God had answered our prayers, and we had never endured grief like this, we would not be able to reach or help people like we can now. Somehow, our loss is benefiting others.
What a steep price to pay. Yet I have a Savior that did that and so much more. I have a Savior that took on all of my guilt, sin and shame. I have a Savior that gave His life in place for mine. I have a Savior that conquered death and rose from the grave 3 days later. I have a Savior that I trust completely. So… if I trust Him completely, then I trust Him in this too.
I know that the clouds of sadness will always come and go. And I know, with time the sharp pain will dull and be more of an ache. But I’m not going to rush time. I’m choosing to learn what it is God needs to teach me where I am now. I know He will get me where He needs me in His time and in His way.
This verse hit me today. It’s not time for our grief to pass. Our focus is on not our will, but Christ’s be done.
Luke 22:42
42 “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”
Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜
