It’s not very often that I sit down to write and don’t know what to say. Or where to start. Really, today was a good day. We celebrated my Papa’s 91st birthday. What an amazing thing! It was wonderful to have a house full of family with kids running everywhere. But I was missing a kid. And as we celebrated all I could think was if I had the privilege to live a life that long and full, then I have a really long time to live without my Kayleigh, without my Baby Duck.
I really don’t want my mind to drift to such sad things. I continually must remind myself that God’s plan is perfect and His promises are true. Honestly, I don’t know what God’s plan is for us, nor what His specific promise is pertaining to is, but I’m asking Him to begin to show us what He wants us to do. And I am learning to wait patiently for the Lord to show me what He wants me to know.
Romans 15:13-14
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. 14 Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Romans 15:45
4 Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.
Thank you for your prayers.
Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜
Praying for you tonight. I hear so much in your post tonight and I’m so proud of you as my sister in Christ. I know from experience as well that the pain is so real and deep. Just know that your honesty and journey show others a reality that people CAN trust and seek God in the worst. We need more people’s transparency, weakness, searching and not giving-up-mess (if you will). The beauty of pain is that we all are wondering if it truly IS possible to survive and Love God even more. It produces something. Have you heard the song “Though You Slay Me?” Look up this song that features an excerpt from John Piper! I truly feel like God will use this in your heart tosay!!! I believe you will show people it is possible to love God even when it could seem like He hasn’t done what He should. As if our love has to be earned. It is not just with you sweet heart and words, but with posts that are real and may not even feel like valid thoughts put down. It is in the not-so-good posts, that God actually does something in YOUR heart and in others. We fight a true battle here on earth without the ones we love and should have never had to say goodbye to. Your words and life are seeds and you haven’t even begun to plant them, water them and harvest. There will be a great harvest for you ‘Carrow. Trust that it is there. Like the movie “Faith Like Potatoes”!! Keep nourishing yourself with Truth. Your answers may not come in the way you expect or in the time you thought, but God is going to show you His purpose here. It will come on a day you would have never expected. Perhaps in a quiet moment. Thank you for sharing your pain and heartache with the world. The harder days come, but God never changes. The *nemy wants to lie, but he won’t succeed! There is a protection over you. Plant those seeds friend. And when it looks like they aren’t growing, just remember your tears are being used to help them grow, to reflect His Love. Peace to you tonight brave one.