Good Morning!
I fell asleep with Kayleigh last night and didn’t get our day into words. What a joy it is to just curl up wth her! Our Sunday was lovely. It was the first day since Kayleigh’s breakdown that we have gone the whole day with no tears. Little by little she is asking her questions and God is graciously giving me answers every time.
Here are some of her precious questions…
KB: Mommy, I’m not afraid of dying any more, but what if I die and Jesus forgets me?
Me: Baby, Jesus doesn’t forget anything he is perfect. He remembers everything and loves you – very much.
KB – not looking convinced
Me: He also has a very special book. It’s called The Lambs Book of Life, once you accept Jesus into your heart Jesus writes your name in His book and it can never be erased.
That did it, knowing Jesus has a record of her calmed the fear.
KB: sometimes I do bad things, what if Jesus stops liking me?
Me: the bible tells us that Jesus never stops liking us, He loves us always.
John 3:16 says For God so loved the world, that’s Kayleigh… For God so loved Kayleigh that he sent his only son, that if she believes in him she will have eternal life.
KB: but sometimes I do bad things
Me: the bible also tells us that nothing can take us out of God’s hand… Not height or depth, not good things or bad things, once we are in His hand we are there for good.
KB: what if you get to heaven before me?
Me: then I will wait for you.
KB: what if I get there before you?
Me: then you wait for me.
How the Lord allows me to hear her heart and answer is amazing. How I am able to keep myself composed and not be a sobbing mess is also amazing. Yet each time she comes to me with a gut wrenching question, God is good to give me peace and bless me with words. With each question we are able to use the bible to squelch fear. With each fear that we squelch, Kayleigh becomes more sure of herself. Like anything, it is a process. And not one I can rush.
This was the passage in one of my devotions today…
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way (James 1:2-4 MSG).
So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely… Ugh. As we pray diligently for Kayleigh’s healing this side of heaven, God is gracious to continue to grant me peace that He is going to grant our request. Yet as we walk each day I am seeing that He also has a beautiful and intricate plan in place for Kayleigh. While my prayer is for miraculous and immediate healing I must continue to be faithful in the waiting, not trying to get out of this prematurely. God is at work here. In me, in Kayleigh, in our family, in all of you.
So, I will continue to pray for complete healing, this side of heaven, to be completed in His perfect time. I will still be praying for the time to come quickly, but I will be content that God is in control. No matter what the symptoms look like, no matter what the doctors say, no matter what the devil tries to throw in our way, God is good. He is on his throne. He is in control. I trust Him. The end.
These are the verses I was referencing when talking with Kayleigh. I paraphrased them to be kid friendly, but the teaching is still there. Thank you Jesus that your word never returns void.
Revelation 3:5
All who are victorious will be clothed in white. I will never erase their names from the Book of Life, but I will announce before my Father and his angels that they are mine
Romans 8:38-39
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Until tomorrow (or tonight),
‘Carrow 💜
