October 10, 2016
Thank you, Lord, for another day!
Kayleigh has had another fairly good day. She had a small hiccup this morning – she woke up in a good mood but absolutely starving. We are still extremely cautious about her diet and generally try to eat small meals a little more often through the day. But this morning, she could not eat enough to be satisfied. My guess is that we are seeing the effects of the steroid increase – yuck. As she continued to eat through the morning a stomach ache hit. Even though we were careful I think it was just too much at once. Poor baby was in tears, upset she had done it to herself, and still hungry at the same time! Talk about a mess. I finally convinced her to take a nap, and thankfully when she woke up the ache had passed and she was in better shape. She made it the rest of the day without too much discomfort, so I’m marking this day up as a win!
While we are finally making progress on the belly issues her balance and motor skills, especially on the right side, are still deteriorating. Not only are the fine motor skills nonexistent, but gross motor skills are getting worse. She has to use her left hand to make her right arm do anything. Her right leg, even with the brace, struggles to hold her up and walking alone is not possible. Even the right side of her face is beginning to droop. As I type that I realize just how terrible it sounds, and yet here I sit, still at peace. Not that it is ok. Not that I’m not looking for anything we can try. More like completely calm, focused on my mission. No panic. No worry about “what if.” Just complete certainty that God is in control and that He is going to direct our paths to where we need to be.
So often on this journey it comes to mind just how drastically God has changed me in the last few months. Not that I was a terrible person to start with but I had plenty of things I needed to work. Many of them I was aware of but more often than not I was too busy running kids around and working full time to really think about making any changes. More like passing thoughts and quickly worded prayers. Yet now, as I have truly begun to learn what it means to walk with Christ, to live by faith, to trust Him to guide my steps even when I cannot even see the next step, I see changes. My temper, which has been known to be quite unpleasant, very rarely raises its head. Certainly not at all like it has in the past. My patience has grown. My spirit is at peace – not worried about anything. I honestly don’t recognize this person, but I must say, I like her better. I know my family likes her better. But I know me, I’m going to have to work hard to make sure she stays around. Of course, I get the feeling that God is going to continue to give me plenty of opportunities to practice.
I’ve been a Christian for more than 30 years and learned much in that time. I get the feeling that all those years God was pouring my foundation and building my house – making sure it was solid so I could withstand a serious storm. I owe my parents a huge debt of gratitude for always putting Jesus first in our home. And as I sit here, being thankful, I can’t help but examine my life and think about what Tim and I are instilling in our children. Are we building the same foundation for them? Are we teaching them to trust? To pray? To believe? To have faith beyond a shadow of a doubt? Looking at our world now, you can tell these generations are going to need deep roots to withstand what is coming. To be able to hold fast to the truth and to respond to hate with love.
Funny, I had planned to leave a super short post tonight. Something close to “we’re alive, I’ll write more tomorrow” just because I was tired. Yet once I picked up my phone to write you got a 5 page essay instead!
Please continue to pray for healing this side of heaven, for Kayleigh’s stomach to stay on the right track, headaches to stay away, steroids to be weaned down with out worsening side effects, balance to return, and strength to return to her right side.
Verses for tonight
Proverbs 22:6
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
Children are our most treasured blessings. If you have them, don’t take a single moment for granted.
Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow 💜
Pictures of our blessings 💜💜💜
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