December 18, 2016

The serious countdown to Christmas has begun. Amazingly, we have had a blessedly peaceful December. The Lord has protected our hearts in amazing ways. Blessing us with the ability to remember Kayleigh, yet continue on with life. Our house is usually filled with a quiet, steady, peacefulness – not grief – another beautiful blessing.

Today was a good day. A day filled with our church, church musical, and small group. It was so good to be in God’s house and with God’s people. And then tonight, a song came on the radio, and I broke. I don’t even know most of the words to the song. The only ones I really heard were “broken hallelujah.” And as the song played on and I heard those words over and over, I couldn’t help but feel that is what I have. My soul is still filled with hallelujah’s. With praise for my savior. But my heart is still broken.

As I always do when I begin to feel weak, I turned to God’s word and the verse and devotion were perfect.

Psalm 42:5
5 Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God.

Indeed. I will put my hope in God. My corresponding devotion said the following …

“The pain you feel doesn’t have to be negative; it doesn’t have to destroy you. On the contrary, it can be a bridge to a deeper relationship with the Father of you respond in the right way.”

It all comes back to my favorite word, choose. I have the ability to choose. Choose to praise my God through the pain. Choose to look for what He is teaching me. Choose to trust and find joy. Yes, my heart is battered. Yes, my heart feels broken. Yes, my tears still flow. But yes, my God is good. He is the master and I trust Him.

As Psalm 42:5 said… Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

These are pictures from the summer. I just needed to post a few beautiful reminders.

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