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June 13, 2017 – God never wastes a hurt

Hello Friends,

You know, sometimes I sit down to write and words pour out of me like Niagara Falls after a good rain, other times I’m more like the Mojave desert. During Kayleigh’s journey it was easy, I would fill you in on how she was doing, and let you know how God was helping us through. But now as we get a little further out, I find that I want the focus to be less on our family and more on this amazing God we serve.

Tonight was one of those nights where I was struggling. I had many ideas but none seems like just the “right” one. So I opened my Bible and just started reading. I have discovered no matter the upheaval going on around me, if I will sit down with the Lord’s word, and open my heart to what He has to say, He will speak to me through the scriptures. I don’t always find the answers I am looking for right away, but I do find His incredible peace.

After reading a while I had an abundance of peace in my heart but still no words. I was about to lay my face down on the opening page of Ephesians when a quote jumped out at me, right there on the page. It isn’t part of scripture but a modern day authors introduction to the book of Ephesians.

“God does not waste our suffering. Life in a fallen world entails human suffering, but never without a divine purpose.”

Wow, talk about a perspective change. Suffering certainly isn’t something anyone aspires to, but it is a part of everyone’s life. Sometimes our suffering is huge and immediately life altering, other times it is a daily burden that becomes increasingly heavy. Sometimes you can see a persons suffering and other times it is well disguised. It comes in all shapes and sizes and affects every age, gender, ethnic, and socioeconomic group. It also is not a very welcome topic of conversation, it’s just too sad for many people to deal with.

But… if you can change your view of suffering, and start looking for God’s divine purpose in the hurts, it begins to change your heart. I am living proof that is true. It doesn’t take the hurt away, but it does change my perspective. It is no longer about what is happening to me, rather it becomes more about what God can accomplish through me. He becomes my focus, not the storm, and that is where I find peace.

I am echoing Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians for each of you reading this…

Ephesians 1:18
18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.

God loves you, so. And He has called you to a specific purpose, one that is perfectly tailored, only to you. I pray you will choose to follow Him and be faithful.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

I love this picture of my silly monkey. It was taken a year ago today. So much has changed but my love for her remains.

June 12, 2017

June 12, 2017

It’s amazing what a difference a year makes. As I flipped through my journal for this time last year, it is filled with me begging the Lord for wisdom, direction, and Kayleigh’s healing. Now, a year later, I am preparing to speak to a group of women about how good God is – even when he doesn’t answer your prayers as you had hoped He would.

I found this quote by Oswald Chambers in my journal tonight…

“If you yourself do not cut the lines that tie you to the dock, God will have to use a storm to sever them and to send you out to sea.”

Yikes! This certainly isn’t the path I would have chosen for my life. I was happily meandering along my way, enjoying life and my family – but I wasn’t doing anything to further the Gospel of Christ. I wasn’t willing to cut myself loose from the dock. God doesn’t call us to stay in our safe, insulated, comfortable worlds. He calls us to walk by faith, trust His plan, and share His goodness and love wherever we go.

I pray you will choose to cut yourself loose from the dock, and allow the Lord to take you where He is calling you to be.

Deuteronomy 13:4
4 Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him.

Until later,
‘Carrow💜

I am looking forward to sharing Friday night, June 23rd. Thank you Five Points Christian Church for inviting me.

June 11, 2017

June 11, 2017

I read this blog today and just felt like it was right on point. The writer made two points that really hit home with me.

First, that bereaved parents will move heaven and earth to keep other parents from having to join this terrible club. That is exactly what Kayleigh’s foundation is all about. Raising funds and awareness to beat this disease and save children.

Second, that because of intense grief joy is so much brighter. Yes, there is still grief every day. I miss her and that will never change, but I know this separation is only a short time. Because of my sweet girl my perspective has changed. I find myself being thankful for the two children I have bickering in the back seat. I’m thankful for my incredibly messy house and mountains of laundry. I’m thankful for each moment I have to spend with Tim and my kids.

I’ll always miss the one that isn’t here, but thanks to her, the time I have left on this earth will not be wasted. I will love deeply, find hope in the storm, and choose joy. And while I’m on this journey I will do everything in my power to share this amazing hope, joy and peace with anyone that will listen.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

Romans 8:38
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child

June 10, 2017

It’s been a long, hot day filled with softball and friends. Our girls played 4 games, three of them back-to-back from 7:00pm-11:30pm non stop. They fought hard and dug deep to find the strength to compete. They encouraged each other, covered each other’s backs, and played not just for themselves as individuals, but for the girls in the field beside them.

By the championship game they were worn out. The other team had a break and were much fresher and we got behind in the very beginning. Our girls fought hard to stay within striking distance but the lead was not be be had. But they didn’t stop. They kept cheering each other on, they kept fighting, they played hard. And after a tie breaker in extra innings, they brought home the 1st place trophy. It was an awesome day.

I know today was just a day of fun and softball, but doesn’t that relate to our lives as well? The kind of people we surround ourselves with, the people we choose to be on our team – they make a huge difference in our lives. We need God in our corner coaching us through each play, giving us direction. And we need team mates that work with us, help us, and build us up when we are down.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

How thankful I am for the people God continues to put in our lives. Way to go Ladies, way to get the job done!

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow💜

June 9th 2017

June 9, 2017

As I sat tonight, watching my big #14 play the sport she loves, I couldn’t help but be thankful for such an amazing softball family. This time last year the same softball family was rallying around us, fighting with us for our little #14. Our lives are so different a year later. Kayleigh has left a hole in our hearts, but as I walk through the fields and am stopped by precious people, God reminds me that Kayleigh’s fingerprints can be seen on the hearts of so many people around a us. What a beautiful legacy.

This verse came to mind tonight…
Colossians 3:17
17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

No matter where you are or what you are doing, you can do your very best and give all the glory to God. I pray you never forget to keep your eyes on Him.

  1. Until later,

Our Big #14

Our litte #14

We love you Kit Kat!!   💜💜💜💜

  1. ‘Carrow 💜