January 30, 2017

Today has been a better day. Well, actually today pretty much stunk. After going to bed sad I woke up better but not quite as right as usual. My day didn’t have any particularly terrible disasters, more like a string of things that just kept my day off kilter. And the more off things went, the worse my attitude went with it. By this afternoon I couldn’t decide if I want to scream, cry, or punch something. I just had too many emotions rolling around.

But, as always, the Lord knew what I needed. This evening He allowed Tim & I the opportunity to sit in a studio with a group of exceptionally talented musicians, and just listen. Music always speaks to me, it always has. And tonight’s music just seemed to roll away the anxiety and pent up frustration. It left me feeling calm and no longer out of control. It helped heal the hurts in my heart.

So tonight, the sad is still here but it isn’t as oppressive as it was last night, and for that I am so very thankful. I can already tell that tomorrow is going to be a better day.

I really don’t like the sad days. I don’t like feeling dark and lost. But I trust that my God has a plan for even that. I trust that my experience – the good, the bad and the ugly – all have a purpose. To encourage other families, to empathize with searing loss, so that we can invest in other people. So we can share hope.

Psalm 147:11
11 No, the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Romans 5:2-5
2 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. 3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Until tomorrow,
‘Carrow 💜

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