December 29, 2016

Hebrews 4:16
16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Psalm 16:11
11 You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.

These are the two verse that resonated with me tonight. Every now and then I just have these moments where it hits me that Kayleigh is never coming back. Logically, my brain is fully aware of that. Frankly, I wouldn’t bring her back to this broken world if I could. She’s in heaven, there is nothing better than that! But sometimes I see a picture, or something reminds me of her, and it just sneaks in and surprises me. And every time that happens my heart is shocked, then grieved all over again. Almost like a fresh hurt.

As I spent time talking with the Lord, telling him about my hurting heart, I opened my devotion and just began reading and rereading different days. These two verses soothed my heart. Hebrews reminded me not to feel bad about what is going on inside of me; rather, I need to go to the Lord openly, sharing my hurts and trusting Him to heal them. And while I know healing takes time, His mercy and grace give me strength for each day.

And then I read Psalms… another promise for joy. And not just joy, but a promise that the Lord will show me the way. And while I am being obedient, following His plan, He will grant me the joy of His presence. What more could I ask for?

It never fails, I go to the Lord feeling discombobulated and He untangles my mess, soothes my heart, and restores His peace in my heart. Oh what a gracious God we serve.

Until tomorrow,

This picture is from five years ago today. Sweet Baby Duck loves her beignets. And doesn’t she look beautiful in purple?

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