May 14, 2017
It’s Mother’s Day. Usually I enjoy this holiday, but this year it is incredibly difficult. I am so thankful for the many friends that have messaged me kind words today. But I’d be lying if I said it was an easy day. Celebrating Kayleigh’s birthday Friday and Saturday, and Mother’s Day today without her, has left my heart broken and battered.
Today, I just felt the need to be with Kayleigh. So when Tim packed the kids up to go see his mom for Mother’s Day I stayed behind and went to the cemetary. I took new flowers for her grave and a beach towel so I could stay a while. It was a beautiful, sunny day. Once the flowers were done I spread my towel out right on top of Kayleigh’s plot and just laid with her.
I know she isn’t there because I know right where she is. She’s whole and healthy, running, dancing and twirling in heaven. But it is still her spot. I laid on the grass talking to her, telling her how proud I am of her and the life she led. Thanking her for making be a better mom. It also gave me wonderful quiet time with the Lord. Time to cry and grieve, but time to thank Him for allowing me the gift of Kayleigh.
While I was there my mom came by. She brought me something she found under her bed. She doesn’t know how it got there or when, but it was a priceless gift. A hand made Mother’s Day card from Kayleigh. Based on the signature, I think it was probably last year. Thank you Jesus for precious treasures, even if those treasures bring me to my knees.
As I feel my self feeling particularly weak today, I am thankful for this verse
2 Corinthians 12:9
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.I certainly have nothing in me worth offering, but Christ in me allows me to continue on each day.
If you have followed us for a while, you know I usually sign off “until tomorrow” but tonight I’m going to change that. I am going to say “until later” – because I’m not sure if I’m going to continue every day, or exactly what the Lord’s plan is for me. Don’t worry, I won’t be going far, I just want to take a little time and make sure I’m walking down the path God has for me.
Until later,
‘Carrow💜
