May 14, 2017
It’s Mother’s Day. Usually I enjoy this holiday, but this year it is incredibly difficult. I am so thankful for the many friends that have messaged me kind words today. But I’d be lying if I said it was an easy day. Celebrating Kayleigh’s birthday Friday and Saturday, and Mother’s Day today without her, has left my heart broken and battered.
Today, I just felt the need to be with Kayleigh. So when Tim packed the kids up to go see his mom for Mother’s Day I stayed behind and went to the cemetary. I took new flowers for her grave and a beach towel so I could stay a while. It was a beautiful, sunny day. Once the flowers were done I spread my towel out right on top of Kayleigh’s plot and just laid with her.
I know she isn’t there because I know right where she is. She’s whole and healthy, running, dancing and twirling in heaven. But it is still her spot. I laid on the grass talking to her, telling her how proud I am of her and the life she led. Thanking her for making be a better mom. It also gave me wonderful quiet time with the Lord. Time to cry and grieve, but time to thank Him for allowing me the gift of Kayleigh.
While I was there my mom came by. She brought me something she found under her bed. She doesn’t know how it got there or when, but it was a priceless gift. A hand made Mother’s Day card from Kayleigh. Based on the signature, I think it was probably last year. Thank you Jesus for precious treasures, even if those treasures bring me to my knees.
As I feel my self feeling particularly weak today, I am thankful for this verse
2 Corinthians 12:9
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
I certainly have nothing in me worth offering, but Christ in me allows me to continue on each day.
If you have followed us for a while, you know I usually sign off “until tomorrow” but tonight I’m going to change that. I am going to say “until later” – because I’m not sure if I’m going to continue every day, or exactly what the Lord’s plan is for me. Don’t worry, I won’t be going far, I just want to take a little time and make sure I’m walking down the path God has for me.